ECO-PSYCHOLOGY AND EMPATHY

Q. My concern is the sense of moral responsibility of children. If they are coddled by adults that don't hold them responsible for their behavior, won't they grow up to be selfish and irresponsible?

A. The innocence of the newborn babe remains indelibly in the depths of the individual through all the stages of childhood and into adulthood.

Eco-psychology harmonizes all aspects of the body/emotion/mind/spirit entity that is the totality of the child. This means that in every interaction with children we are most effective when we speak directly to the energetic heart, which is the interface between the physical being and the spiritual essence.

Recently, due to exclusion from a party, a child retaliated for wounded feelings, by destroying the costly property of another. The teacher requested a meeting with the perpetrator of the violation. Knowing that the only effective instrument of psychological healing is empathy, she proceeded to identify with the pain of exclusion that motivated the child. Sitting at eye level, the expression in the adult’s eyes and the tone of her voice communicated compassion, while her words relayed understanding – in other words, identification with the child’s painful emotions.

At the end of the meeting when gently probed about the incident the child denied culpability, as had been her habit in similar past circumstances. The meeting concluded with a warm hug. Half an hour later the child approached the teacher and admitted her vengeful action. Integrity was empathy’s first victory.

The teacher then requested a meeting between the child, two by-stander accomplices and the person whose property was damaged. The next stage of heart- to-heart dialogue ensued to discover the means for compensation. The meeting that began with quiet hesitancy concluded with enthusiastic planning. Brainstorming was empathy’s next victory.

A unified spirit steered the course until the four girls agreed to set up a cookies and hot chocolate booth to raise money. Mothers joined the collaboration to supply ingredients for baking at home, thermoses and cups for the hot chocolate, and a table for the booth. That Friday in happy camaraderie four eager participants hosted a hot chocolate booth supplied with cookies they had each baked. Unity was empathy’s third victory.

They raised $70.00. Heart-impelled Compensation was empathy’s crowning victory.

Adult admonitions and control measures would more likely have perpetuated hostile division, and grudging compensation. Instead, the healing waters of compassion dissolved disunity in the soil of joyful possibilities.

By feeling into the inner terrain of the child, and with heart-to-heart listening and dialogue, all participants, including the adults, enjoy a return to innocence. Furthermore, when we tune our relationships to beautiful harmonics, we set in motion resonances to reverberate through 7 X 7 generations of similar human challenges.